Jul
07
olds_cutlass_supreme_classic_brown_1988

Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Classic Brougham

What’s in a name? Sight unseen, would you be more likely to let Thurston Howell III borrow your comb, or some guy that goes by Gilligan? Would your sandwich taste better as croquet monsieur et gruyere, or as a ham and cheese?

If we’re honest about it, we have to admit that we’re all suckers for impressive-sounding strings of words.

Winston Howell III

Thurston Howell III

Yet, despite the pomp and pretense that comes with lengthy monikers and titles, carmakers mostly shun long model names. In fact, the market is currently packed with such tidy, tightly badged examples as the Chevrolet Cruze, Dodge Dart, and Volkswagen Golf. And three cheers for the digitally economical Ford Ka.

But when makers go the other direction, they do so with impressive commitment. Presented here are five examples of extreme model naming. We can’t promise that these are the absolute longest model names ever applied to motor vehicles, but we do challenge you to come up with longer examples.

Note: We’re counting Brougham as one syllable.

Up for a challenge? Try and spot the fake model names

 

New-Bentley-Flying-Spur-Mulliner

Bentley Continental Flying Spur W12 Mulliner (39 characters)

Bentley Continental Flying Spur W12 Mulliner

Words: 6

Syllables: 16

Characters: 39

This fabulous and potent sedan takes top honors in syllable count. Anyone who’s had the opportunity to sample this stately beast’s magnificent W12 engine will forgive the pretentious tag.

 

1988_Cutlass_Supreme_Classic

Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Classic Brougham(39 characters)

Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme Classic Brougham

Words: 5

Syllables: 10

Characters: 39

Oldsmobile tacked the “Classic” tag on its long-running Cutlass Supreme model for 1988 to commemorate that year being the last time the model name would apply to a rear-drive model. Top-of-the-line Brougham variants enjoyed a model name that spans an impressive 39 characters.

 

Screen shot 2014-07-07 at 6.11.49 PM

Land Rover Range Rover Sport Autobiography (37 characters)

Land Rover Range Rover Sport Autobiography

Words: 6

Syllables: 13

Characters: 37

Coming in just two characters shy of the Olds, this well-titled British off-roader boasts a model name that is longer in both word and syllable count. The “LRRRSA” is on sale now, but beware, there are nearly as many characters in this Rover’s price tag as there are in its model name.

 

1971-Cadillac-Fleetwood-Sixty-Special-Brougham

Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special Brougham (37 characters)

Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special Brougham

Words: 5

Syllables: 10

Characters: 37

Cadillac needs to issue a style guide dealing with the usage of this model name, as it varies substantially over the model years. Some years “Sixty is “60,” and Sixty Special is often presented with a hyphen between the two words. Regardless, this is a long model name.

 

mercury-grand-marquis-colony-park-2

Mercury Grand Marquis Colony Park (29 characters)

Mercury Grand Marquis Colony Park

Words: 5

Syllables: 10

Letters: 29

Despite the grandeur of this name, folks who owned one likely referred to it simply as, “the wagon.”

10 Crazy Car Names

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