Posts from ‘Humor’

Nov
12
Rand Road Dealership, Used Car Dealer Gallery

Once home to sleazy bars and adult-entertainment venues, Rand Road outside of Palatine, Illinois, is now populated by a dozen or so small used-car dealerships.

The village of Palatine, Illinois, isn’t much worth knowing about unless you live there. A relatively contemporary Chicago suburb today, the community dates back more than 150 years, though it was best known for most of its first century as a lightly used rail stop utilized mostly by local farmers.

Nov
01
Gray Crossovers

They’re almost exactly the same color, but each shade of gray has a unique name. Check them out.

The older and crankier among us have long lamented that all new cars look alike. If we’re entirely honest about it, we must concede that our grouchy acquaintances aren’t completely wrong. Certain safety and aerodynamic considerations have, to some extent, tied the hands of vehicle designers, giving them a little less leeway when it comes to shaping a modern car or truck.

Jul
16

Kids Show Cars

The wonderful thing about bad movies, especially bad action/adventure movies, is that they are often redeemed (at least partially) by something utterly absurd.

Jul
13
Car-Care Quiz From 1959

What kind of car owner would you have been in 1959? Take this handy quiz and find out.

Sometime in 1959 or 1960, Allstate produced and shipped to policy holders a delightful booklet of helpful car-care hints. The digest-sized, 96-page publication, titled Money-Saving Facts for Car Owners, is packed with useful information, including a chapter on the wisdom of using premium gas, and another that deals with checking your fan belt.

Jun
22
Money Saving Facts for Car Owners, Classic Car Care

An excerpt from Money Saving Facts for Car Owners, a booklet published by Allstate Insurance circa 1959.

Question: When was the last time your auto-insurance company mailed you anything other than a bill?

May
25
Trashed Cadillac Deville

We suspect this Coupe DeVille has fallen into the hands of an ungrateful heir.

Some time ago, I wrote a piece about the unlikely vehicles I still see on a regular basis. You can check out that list here. One car I neglected to make note of at the time was the Cadillac DeVille–specifically front-wheel-drive-era DeVilles.

Jun
06

Fahrvergnugen

When she was a younger woman, my mother spent some time working the register at a neighborhood Burger King. Near as I can tell, mom doesn’t spend too much time reflecting on her days peddling fast food, but she does share one story, and it’s worth retelling.

Apr
17
Kevin Bacon, Footloose, Beetles in Movies

What, exactly, does Kevin Bacon have in common with Clint Eastwood? Read on…

Few film genres employ characters more cookie-cutter and two-dimensional than do Westerns. Generally speaking, the whole good guy/bad guy, cowboys/Indians thing is the stuff of mediocre legend. Anyone who’s watched any Roy Rogers movie knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Dec
12
Snow-bound Mercedes SL

This snow-bound Mercedes-Benz SL is a little too easy to identify.

The snow came later than it usually does here around Consumer Guide’s suburban Chicago headquarters. However, when it did come, it came with impact, dumping 6-8 inches around the area in a relatively short period of time. With snow comes snow-covered vehicles, some of which may be difficult to identify under all the badge- and shape-obscuring white stuff. Here we have eight liberally coated vehicles for you to identify. A couple of the cars are pretty easy, but a few should take you a least a moment to ID.

Oct
28
Automotive Halloween Costume

Question: What would an Eighties BMW 3-Series driver wear?

Some 200 million Americans fall between the ages of 20 and 70. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that 25 percent of those folks are headed off to a costume party this Halloween. What fraction of that group would you say will be wearing a Donald Trump costume? If it’s ten percent—and that seems really low to me—that means that more than 6 million folks will be bobbing for apples or tossing back hard cider while wearing a dark suit, red tie, and a Donald mask. Don’t be one of those people. (And yes, that number includes women. It’s even funnier if women dress up as Donald Trump.)

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