Posts from ‘Humor’

Jun
07
Twitter Hashtag, #uglycar, #Ugly

Only on Twitter could the BMW 507 be branded as ugly.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or so we’ve been told. Odds are that a parent or guardian first presented this tired adage to us, likely on the occasion of our honest appraisal of an unwanted Christmas sweater, hand-me-down bike, or nerdy cousin.

Apr
15
Carvel Ice Cream, Niles, Illinois

This taco stand was once a Carvel ice-cream store. It was at this exact location, back in 1973, that I placed a fateful pistachio-shake order.

I’m not much of a criminal. I don’t think I’ve intentionally stolen anything since I was confirmed, and I survived the great missing-leftover-pizza scandal that rocked my household last weekend with my reputation largely unscathed. My wife and daughter now accept my “accidentally thrown out” defense as “plausible.”

Apr
01
Garmin C.A.R.E.S.

Thanks to Garmin C.A.R.E.S., motorists no longer need to interact directly with panhandlers.

OLATHE, Kan.–(BUSINESS WIRE)–Garmin International Inc., a unit of Garmin Ltd. (NASDAQ: GRMN), today announced the C.A.R.E.S. system.

Mar
18
1983 Chevrolet Celebrity, Cars You Never See Anymore

1983 Chevrolet Celebrity

It strikes me that the five cars listed here are a little like Pia Zadora. How, you may ask, is any vehicle like Pia Zadora? I’m glad you asked.

Feb
08
1986 Nissan Stanza Wagon

1986 Nissan Stanza Wagon

To most folks, dunking pizza in ranch dressing amounts to a culinary crime not far shy of squirting catsup on a Chicago-style hot dog. Yet, a good friend’s daughter swears by the results, suspect though the combination may seem.

Dec
04
Last real cars, End Of The Car

We may be sun-setting the driver-involvement era, but Tom is reasonably OK with that.

The evidence has been piling up for a while now, but the verdict is unavoidable: The traditional automobile is all but dead.

There are a couple of paths we can take to reach this conclusion, and a couple of different definitions of “dead” that we can employ, but there’s one particular path and one outcome that I am most saddened by.

Nov
20
Foton Trucks

Chinese truck builder Foton was established in 1998 and produces primarily heavy-duty vehicles for its home market.

Foton logo As a professional car guy and amateur curmudgeon and skeptic, I miss the early years of the 21st century. I miss them, because those were the years that Chinese automakers were making the most noise about selling cars in the U.S.

Journalists who attended auto shows in the early 2000s where companies such as Brilliance, BYD, Geely, and Changfeng Liebao presented their wares will recall with glee spectacular U.S. sales projections and shockingly tone-deaf video presentations.

Oct
26
1976 AMC Pacer, Cars We Make Fun Of

1976 AMC Pacer

History’s greatest disaster metaphor is inarguably the Titanic, the giant, “unsinkable” ship that would go ahead and promptly sink on its maiden voyage. I would argue that NBC’s prime-time drama “Super Train” was actually a more impressive disaster, but since no one remembers the show, it’s unlikely to catch on as a cultural reference point.

Oct
16
Bad Car Names

Is St. Regis a better name for a car, or a hospital?

Sometimes, automotive models names aren’t so much bad as they are inappropriate. It’s worth noting that when Cadillac rolled out a compact model based on the Chevrolet Cavalier, the brand came up with a new name for the car—Cimarron—instead of carelessly appropriating a heritage moniker along the lines of LaSalle Sport or Deville II.

Aug
03
Teens and driving, Why Don't Teens Want to Drive

Teens don’t socialize as their parents did. For many teens, the smart phone has replaced the car as a social tool.

I received two nose-hair trimmers as birthday gifts this year. That generosity can be attributed to the fact that I turned 50, and that I have friends with droll senses of humor. As I look back on a half century of life (or at least the part of it I recall–I am a little hazy on the 1965-1970 period) I realize that the biggest technological changes took place after I left high school.

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