Last time, we looked at the rides of Deanna Troi, Jean-Luc Picard, and Spock. This week, let’s check in with the original captain, the guy with the positronic brain, and the first Klingon to serve in Star Fleet. As before, we’re looking at production vehicles. Also, we’re assuming these guys don’t have budget issues.
James T. Kirk
What can you say about a guy who has saved everyone in the universe a dozen times over? He’s brash, brilliant, solidly egotistical, and inarguably cool. Kirk is a guy who values power and prestige—and he likes company. Kirk’s a talker, and thrives in front of an audience, so he needs a real back seat. For him, I choose a big, fast sedan. Something that’s a little less subdued than a Mercedes, but not quite so baroque or ponderous as a Rolls-Royce. For the man who beat Khan, I pick the Bentley Continental Flying Spur Speed. The car’s boisterous five-word name alone pays tribute to a man whose legend is larger than life. With 600 horsepower on tap, the Flying Spur gets about as close to warp speed as any land-based vehicle should. And with space for an audience, Kirk can regale a small entourage with tales of green-lady conquests and evenings laced with Romulan ale.
Even with his emotion chip off, Data was innately curious, and as willing to accept an intellectual challenge as Quark was to double charge customers for drinks. To that end, I place Data in the Chevrolet Volt, a car with the world’s most advanced drivetrain for the android with the galaxy’s most advanced brain. To maximize efficiency, Data would likely plug himself directly into the Volt’s OBD II port, allowing him direct access to the car’s engine management software. Data might then work directly with General Motors and see if, working together, they can lift the car’s 98 MPGe (for 2013) rating.
No more emails. Worf would not drive a Unimog or a Hummer H1. We’re too quick to judge this mighty Klingon on his warrior traits alone. Remember, Worf is a student of the Mok’bara, a fighting art steeped in discipline and self-control. For the Enterprise’s security chief, rage is not an uncontrolled state; it is a weapon to be used with discretion. What the son of Mogh wants in a ride is enormous potential and enormous risk. For him, I choose the bat’leth of sports cars, the Porsche 911 GT3 4.0. No all-wheel drive for Worf. This track-ready monster is an over-steering powder keg in the wrong hands, but, for the right driver—say a hyper-competitive, goal-oriented Klingon—it is a street-legal Bird of Prey.
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