Historians refer to the period in Europe following the fall of the Roman Era as the Dark Ages. Generally applied to the 10th and 11th centuries, the Dark Ages were a time of economic and cultural decline, and for the people alive then, a time of little hope.
Automotive historians, too, reference a Dark Ages of sorts, the period beginning in 1973 through the mid Eighties. Often referred to as The Malaise, this dark era for car lovers brought with it savage reductions in engine outputs as a result of tightening emissions standards and low-lead gas. For enthusiasts, The Malaise was a time of little hope.
Presented here are a dozen victims of The Malaise. These are the 11 slowest vehicles (we have a three-way tie for 9th place) tested by Consumer Guide in 1981. Though a few of these cars are diesels, most are simply powered by too-small engines struggling against fuel-economy-oriented final-drive ratios.
Note that all times below are the result of 0-60 mph tests conducted by Consumer Guide.
If you spent time with any of these Dark Age lead sleds, tell us about it. Perhaps sharing your experience will prove cathartic.
*As tested by Consumer Guide.
Slowest Cars of 1981
Volvo Diesel: 25.8 Seconds
Curb Weight: 3246 pounds
Horsepower: 76
Engine: 2.4-liter diesel six
Fuel Delivery: Fuel injection
Transmission: 4-speed manual with electric overdrive
Final Drive Ratio: 3.54
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 30.9 mpg
Note: Volvo treated the diesel as a separate model in North America. Consumer Guide’s test vehicle was a wagon.
Cadillac Fleetwood: 22.6 Seconds
Curb Weight: 4250 pounds
Horsepower: 125
Engine: 4.1-liter V6
Fuel Delivery: 4-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 3-speed automatic
Final Drive Ratio: 2.41
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 19.0 mpg
Note: The 4.1-liter V6 was a $165 credit-delete option for Cadillac Deville and Fleetwood models, replacing a 6.0-liter V8 when ordered.
Toyota Starlet: 21.2 Seconds
Curb Weight: 1730 pounds
Horsepower: 58
Engine: 1.3-liter four
Fuel Delivery: 2-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 5-speed manual
Final Drive Ratio: 3.15
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 36.0 mpg
Note: Starlet returned the best fuel economy of any non-diesel model evaluated by Consumer Guide for 1981.
Volkswagen Dasher: 20.5 Seconds
Curb Weight: 2163 pounds
Horsepower: 52
Engine: 1.6-liter diesel four
Fuel Delivery: Fuel injection
Transmission: 5-speed manual
Final Drive Ratio: 3.91
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 34.0 mpg
Note: Dasher was also available as a rather interesting-looking 2-door hatchback.
Oldsmobile Cutlass: 20.3 Seconds
Curb Weight: 3286 pounds
Horsepower: 105
Engine: 5.7-liter diesel V8
Fuel Delivery: Fuel injection
Transmission: 3-speed automatic
Final Drive Ratio: 3.91
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 25.5 mpg
Note: The 5.7-liter diesel engine was a $695 option on Cutlass.
Model-Year Madness! 10 Classic Ads From 1970
Chevrolet Chevette: 19.5 Seconds
Curb Weight: 2119 pounds
Horsepower: 70
Engine: 1.6-liter four
Fuel Delivery: 2-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 3-speed automatic
Final Drive Ratio: 3.70
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 27.0 mpg
Note: Hard-core fuel-economy seekers could save a little weight by choosing the rear-seat delete option for a $50 credit.
AMC Spirit: 18.3 Seconds
Curb Weight: 2665 pounds
Horsepower: 84
Engine: 2.5-liter four
Fuel Delivery: 2-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 4-speed manual
Final Drive Ratio: 3.08
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 22.5 mpg
Note: Spirit was also available in “2-door sedan” form for 1981. Consumer Guide’s test vehicle was the liftback shown.
Buick Electra: 18.3 Seconds
Curb Weight: 3865 pounds
Horsepower: 125
Engine: 4.1-liter V6
Fuel Delivery: 4-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 3-speed automatic
Final Drive Ratio: 2.93
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 17.2 mpg
Note: A gasoline-powered 5.0-liter V8 and 5.7-liter diesel V8 were also available for 1981 Electras.
Datsun 210: 18.0 Seconds
Curb Weight: 2015 pounds
Horsepower: 65
Engine: 1.5-liter four
Fuel Delivery: 2-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 5-speed manual
Final Drive Ratio: 3.70
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 30.0 mpg
Note: A High Mileage model was also offered on the 210 for 1981.
Ford Fairmont: 18.0 Seconds
Curb Weight: 2824 pounds
Horsepower: 88
Engine: 3.3-liter six
Fuel Delivery: 1-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 3-speed automatic
Final Drive Ratio: 2.73
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 20.0 mpg
Note: An 88-horsepower 2.3-liter four was the standard engine for 1981 Fairmonts.
Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme: 18.0 Seconds
Curb Weight: 3314 pounds
Horsepower: 100
Engine: 4.3-liter V8
Fuel Delivery: 2-barrel carburetor
Transmission: 3-speed automatic
Final Drive Ratio: 2.29
Consumer Guide Observed Fuel Economy: 19.0 mpg
Note: Counter intuitively, the Cutlass Supreme’s standard 3.8-liter V6 produced 10 more horsepower and the same amount of torque as the optional 4.3-liter V8 tested here.
The Most-Powerful American Cars of 1986
